Green Egg on His Face
Author: Dale Connelly © 1998 Minnesota Public Radio

(Still trying to find a way to discuss the Starr report with your preschooler?)

The Bubba of Scuz
And the Bimbo of Loo
were sharing a pizza
with nothing to do.

They sat and they talked
Although little was said.
So they dabbled in
bumblefunumpus instead.

(which cannot be explained
and is never polite.
Whether done in the daylight
or darkness of night. )

But the Bubba of Scuz
was a Loyalty Scout
which meant that with Bimbos,
funumping was out.

The Loyalty Scouts
(an unusual breed)
thought that telling the truth
was the best of good deeds.

If ever you slipped
into trouble so deep
that you thought that a lie
was the best way to keep

your brains in your head
and your seat in your pants,
a Loyalty Scout would say
"don't take the chance!"

A Splonger named Ken
had been watching the glade
where the Bubba and Bimbo
funumped in the shade

"At last" said the Splong
(a responsible guy)
I now have what I need
to entice him to lie.

The Bubba of Scuz
was then pressured to tell
of the things he had done
in the glade by the dell.

"Did you yert with palookas?
Or miff some goopats?
I heard that you fleegered
a blooper with gnats!"

"I have done no such thing"
said the Bubba of Scuz
"those things aren't the things
that a Scuz Bubba does."

"But what about Bimbos?"
Inquired the Splong.
"Funumping with Bimbos
is equally wrong!"

"I never funumped
with the Bimbo of Loo."
"If you say that I did,
what you say isn't true."

Except that it was,
bringing Bubba up short
when the Splonger named Ken
made his final report.

So take this advice
when you're feeling ashamed.
Stick to the truth
or you'll wind up defamed.

The Loyalty Scouts
will muster you out
your good friends will wonder
what you are about

And history's scribes,
remembering you
will skip all the good
you endeavored to do.

Like the Bubba of Scuz
who, 'til history's end
will be linked to his Bimbo
and the Splonger named Ken.

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